Fostering Regulation: Practical Trauma Responsive Strategies for Children
Welcome back!
In this post, I’m expanding on the role of co-regulation and self-regulation for children who have experienced trauma. As you’re probably figuring out, I love background information, theory and deep dives, so we’ll start there but hopefully you’ll make it to then end for some strategies and examples!
What is Regulation?
There are countless definitions and descriptions of regulation in literature from every discipline that has to do with supporting young children and we all have our own particular way of thinking about regulation. I think about regulation as a dynamic cycle that children are in. Orehek & colleagues (2016) described regulation as an umbrella term that encompasses functions related to attention, behavior, and emotions. We self-regulate by monitoring or appraising the current state we are in, matching it to a desired state, and then engaging in action to move us into the desired state.
Julia Bantimba, OTR/L LLC, 2024
I love this way of thinking about regulation because it centers the dynamic and effortful nature of regulation. It helps me understand why it is hard for some children to “be regulated” and reminds me that regulation is a long process. It’s also validating- supporting children in developing regulation is also incredibly hard work!
Monitoring Our Current State
“State” refers to our states of arousal
Under-aroused: the body and thoughts are lacking energy. Children may be sleepy, sad or depressed, or bored.
Calm: the body, thoughts and emotions are in a restful state
Calm Alert: the body may appear calm or activity is organized and the mental state is ready for learning and engaging. This may be referred to as “baseline”
Over-aroused: the body and thoughts have lots of energy. Children may be moving fast, be in an elevated mood (excited, surprised, nervous, or angry)
Each of us have a sense of what state we are in based on several factors:
We perceive how our body feels. For example, I feel my muscles are tense and my breathing is shallow, I can tell I’m in an over-aroused state
We perceive our feelings & connectedness. For example, I’m feeling appreciated and included because my friend sent a nice text and I got a compliment on something I had worked hard on. I feel calm and alert.
We perceive our thoughts. For example, my thoughts are sluggish and I’m having trouble solving this simple word game/puzzle I like to do. I’m in an under-aroused state.
Trauma-Responsive Perspective
Children with early trauma often have regulation challenges and therefore often have difficulty knowing what state they are in. They have difficulty perceiving what’s happening in their body and mind because of sensory or emotional lags. Keep an eye out in children you work with for those who have trouble identifying what state they are in. Generally by preschool, children have a very rough, rudimentary understanding of their energy level and can accurately tell us if they have a lot of energy, the right amount, or not enough energy. Check out the Alert Program below, it’s amazing at teaching children about their arousal states using the metaphor of a car engine.
Determining What State We Want to be in
Each activity, time of day, and relationship is best done in the state of arousal that matches it. It’s better to be in a high-arousal state if a child is playing in a soccer game while it’s better to be in a low arousal state if they are getting ready for bed.
As children grow, they learn about what states are best for each activity they are doing. Caregivers like family or teachers have the big job of helping children match their arousal state to the activity they’re doing. That’s what’s really happening when we hear teachers tell children to “calm your body down and look at me” or when we hear parents tell kids to “focus on what you’re doing, we need to leave the house now.”
The attentive teacher is really saying “you’re in a high-arousal state, but it’s circle time now and a calm-alert state will be more helpful so you can understand what activities are available and choose the one you want.” The hurried parent is really saying “you’re in a low-arousal state but we are in a rush so it would be better if you were in a higher-arousal state to allow your body and thoughts to move more quickly.”
When things are going well, children (and adults) learn to transition between states somewhat seamlessly. We are drowsy when we wake up but we turn a light on and brush our teeth and that moves us into an alert state. We’re energized after working out but then we have a drink of water, take a shower, and look at our to-do list to lower our arousal and settle into a calm-alert state for work.
Trauma-Responsive Perspective
This is another area of regulation that children who have regulatory challenges might struggle with. For children who are used to being afraid and on edge for safety reasons, it might be safer to stay in a high-arousal, hyper-vigilant state. It’s not clear to children who have grown up in this way that a calmer state is safe in some situations and is actually helpful when trying to engage with others and learn.
Part of our jobs as providers and caregivers is to support children in experiencing the benefit of being in an arousal state that matches the activities they’re doing. Through our work, we can show that when you’re playing a movement game, it really works to be energized and excited. We can also show that when you’re listening to directions so you can learn how to play, it helps to be in a calm alert state.
Moving into a Desired State
The third step in the regulation process is maybe the hardest but it’s probably the one most of us are thinking of when we think about helping a child regulate. Moving from the current state to the desired state to allow for engagement & enjoyment.
This is where “regulation strategies” come in. We can support children in using strategies or tools to move their arousal between states. As an OT, sensory strategies are often first to come to mind but each of us have strategies from within our disciplines to support children in this way.
Trauma Responsive Perspective
As I mentioned earlier, transitioning states is a complex process and may not feel safe to children who have experienced trauma. Additionally, issues with the core regulatory networks in the brain, sensory processing, and emotion processing that occur due to trauma can make transitioning and maintaining a state exceptionally difficult. When working with traumatized children, having an understanding of the difficulty can go a long way in building empathy and patience for the long-road of treatment.
Strategies for Co-Regulating
Manage your own state: it’s not possible for a dysregulated adult to regulate a dysregulated child (yes…even if you think you’re really good at hiding it!)
Limit high-level demands on the child: reduce talking, eye contact, directives, and correctionsThese things can come later when the child is regulated
Parallel Engagement: play or work on the same activity next to the child but allow them the space to engage the way they want to
Integrate rhythm: music, dance, yoga, walking, drumming, and repetitive activities like coloring or scribbling or putting marbles through a marble run
Allow enough time! It can take up to 20 minutes for a dysregulated child to reach a regulated state once the stressor is gone, don’t stop what you’re doing after 5 minutes if it doesn’t seem to be working, regulation takes time!
These are the things that will build self-regulation in children. For children under 5, and let’s be honest, all of us at times, regulation is a partnered task. We all need the support of our communities to stay regulated and children, especially, are meant to partner with the more regulated adults in their lives to support this process.
Resources & References
Orehek, E., Vazeou-Nieuwenhuis, A., Quick, E., & Weaverling, G. C. (2017). Attachment and Self-Regulation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(3), 365-380. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167216685292
The Alert Program: How Does Your Engine Run
What are your favorite ways to co-regulate the kids you work with? What works best for you?
Could you use some support in helping your kids with regulation? Reach out here for 1-1 reflective consultation!
Disclaimer
The information provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to assess, diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical or mental health conditions. The content shared on this site should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or psychological condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
